The Legend of the iPhone
by Rocket Wolf
Summary: Congratulations, you have been selected to recieve a free apple iPhone! See what happens when Ash Ketchum has an unforgettable experience with an annoying popup ad.


**Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon and all related characters, but I wish I did. -sob-**

I know I'm the middle of a fic right now, (and yes, I am still working on it, thanks) but the freakin' ads kept annoying me and gave me some stupid inspiration for a stupid story. It's only one-shot, and pretty stupid but...what can I say? I was bored. Anyway...useless words aside, I introduce to you this...uh...stupid fan-fic.

One day, Ash Ketchum was playing Neopets® on his computer.

"Mwahaha! Darigan paint brush, you are _mine_!" he laughed evilly as he blew up rocket ships on a Neopets® game on the computer.

"Ash, honey, your dinner's ready..." came his mother's voice from downstairs.

"_Coming!_" shouted Ash down at her, as he exploded some nuclear time thing on the Sloth game he was playing.

_BOOM! BANG! ES-PLODE!_

"**MWAHAHA!**" laughed Ash again, his eyes glued to the computer screen as he completely destroyed whatever it was that he was destroying.

"Ash, I said _your dinner's ready_!" called Delia again.

"And I said _I'm coming_!" shouted Ash, his fingers on fire as he clicked away at the keyboard on the computer.

_BLAST! CRASH! POW POW!_

"_**ASH!**_" screamed Delia from downstairs.

"_**I'M FREAKIN' COMING!**_" Ash yelled down with his head turned towards the door, getting annoyed at his mother's "rude" interruptions and interfering with his game.

When he turned his face back to the screen, big letters began to blink repeatedly.

**Game Over! Game Over! Game Over!**

Ash muttered half-heartedly as he banged his fist onto the keyboard. "This game sucks." he concluded as he began to click his way out of Neopets® .

All of a sudden, a pop-up blocked his view of the website.

"Congratulations, you have been selected to receive a free apple iphone!" came a female voice that sounded like milk.

Ash's eyes widened as he stared at the computer, then looked at the speaker in which the voice came out of. Curious, he refreshed the page he was at. Lo and behold, it was the same ad with the same milky voice he had heard before.

"Congratulations," it repeated. "You have been selected to receive a free apple iphone!"

"I...I...I _have_?!" said Ash, too surprised for words. "Me? Imagine! Out of all the millions of people in this world...it was **I**, Ash Ketchum, who was chosen for this magnificent prize!"

"Yes," said the milky ad. "Now click me and redeem your prize!"

Ash put his hand down on the mouse and excitedly started to click on the ad when his mother's voice came again, only closer.

"Ash, what the crud are you doing?!"

Ash shut off the screen as his mother entered his room. She had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot in an impatient manner.

"Oh...eh heh..." said Ash, his face starting to resemble the brightness of a beet.

"I thought you said you were coming down to dinner, _hmmm_?" inquired Delia.

"I _was_!" said Ash.

"Lemme guess...you were on an important mission to blow up rocket ships and exterminate an over-infested alien planet in order to pay off some paint brush for your virtual neopet® ?"

"How...how did you guess?"

"You're kinda predictable these days." said Delia with a sweatdrop.

"Sorry, mom."

"You better be...you're just lucky I didn't ground you." said his mother. "Now come down to dinner, your lamb chops and brussel sprouts are getting cold."

On a normal day, Ash would have sighed and grumbled and worried the whole trip down the stairs about having to eat brussel sprouts...but today wasn't a normal day. _Oh, no! _Today, Ash had been selected to receive a free apple iphone. And there was nothing Ash could think about at that point except for his shiny new apple iphone. Ah...shiny. Ash liked shiny. Today would be a day for Ash to remember!

Ash began to sit down at the kitchen table when the phone rang. Delia went to go pick it up.

"Hello?"

A voice started talking on the other line.

"Oh, hi, Professor Oak!" exclaimed Delia into the phone. "So your experiment is working? That's great! I'm so proud of you for figuring out that time machine thing! I have a feeling you're going to make it big with this one! Oh, that reminds me, just the other day, I..." Blah, blah, blah. Delia's voice started fading away as she walked out of the room with the phone.

Ash didn't seem to give notice, whatsoever. He was staring down at his brussel sprouts. In his mind, they started turning into apple iphones.

"OOH! Shiny!" squealed Ash. He picked up the brussel sprouts (that were now apple iphones) and laughed. Then he looked around the room. Everything around him started turning into apple iphones. The clock on the wall began to transform and shape into a fine, shiny iphone. The plates stacked in a neat row jumped out of the dishwasher and turned into iphones with eyes and mouths. The iphones (that used to be plates) started to tap dance.

"Congratulations Ash Ketchum," they all said in sync in that milky voice, "You have been selected to receive a free apple iphone! YAY!" Then the psycho iphones started to dance and sing some kind of lunatic song for Ash.

_Shiny, shiny, we are shiny iphones_

_with shiny screens!_

_Shiny, shiny, we like shiny iphones_

_so much that we could scream!_

Ash began to drool. "Shiny...shiny..." he repeated. His eyelids began to droop as he watched the tap-dancing iphones when he heard a familiar voice that brought him back to reality.

"_**ASH KETCHUM!**_" screamed his mother.

"Wha..." said Ash, a glob of drool hanging from his lower lip as he picked up his head.

"Have you been staying up late playing those silly games of yours?!" asked Delia. "You just fell asleep in your brussel sprouts!"

"Huh?" Ash looked around. The clock was on the wall, no longer an apple iphone. The dancing iphones were also gone, replaced by the neatly stacked plates in the dishwasher.

"Those games must really be getting to your head..." said Delia, worriedly.

"I'm fine, mom."

"No, you're not. You must be sick." said Delia, placing a thermometer under his tongue.

"Mom, I thed I'm thine." said Ash.

Delia ignored him as she took out the thermometer and examined it thoroughly. "No fever. Oh, good." She placed her hand on his forehead. "Honey..." she said.

"What?"

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some rest?" said his mother's voice with a hint of concern. "I'll call your therapist, Dr. Imadork and schedule an appointment for tomorrow."

"But I'm not sick."

"I know, but you've got some kind of problem." said Delia. "We need to see what's wrong with you and stop this crazy Neopets® addiction of yours."

"But, mom, I-"

"Upstairs, _**NOW**_." she ordered, pointing to the stairs that led up to Ash's bedroom.

Ash grumbled as he walked up to his room. Mothers just didn't understand. Ash was having the best day of his life, and she could care less about it. As he opened his room and saw the computer, his face automatically brightened.

Oh, well! Now that Ash was upstairs, he could now receive his very own iphone!

Excited, Ash rushed up to the screen and clicked it on. There was the ad, blinking the words of delightful satisfaction in front of Ash's face.

Ash refreshed the page just so he could hear the milky voice, again. "Congratulations, you have been selected to receive a free apple iphone!"

Ash giggled. He just couldn't have enough of it.

Refresh. Refresh Refresh.

It kept playing and playing for up to 15 minutes, to Ash's pure delight. The voice sounded like milk flowing out of a cup and spilling on the kitchen floor. It was wonderful!

Ash soon began to realise that he was too engrossed in the voice. He shook his head. The milky voice was very milky and fun to listen to, but Ash couldn't let that distract him from his mission!

He pointed the mouse arrow toward the ad.

_Click!_

A huge bright screen flashed and Ash yelped, falling backwards out of his chair and shielding his eyes from what could have been the culprit of a seizure.

Ash weakly climbed back up onto his chair.

"Ash, are you going to bed?" came Delia's voice. She heard Ash's yelp from upstairs and had assumed it wasn't much of a deal, for it was something Ash did on a daily basis. (for things as stupid as a flashing screen, I must add)

"Yea, mom. Just...had a nightmare." came Ash's voice as he continued to recover from the shock.

Delia shrugged and went back to chopping onions.

Back upstairs, Ash's eyes got used to the light as he scanned the words on his computer screen. Most of it was useless stuff and Ash was getting angry reading it. He was more than ready and he deserved to receive his prize!

Just as he was about to pout like the little boy he was, he saw some fine print on the bottom of the screen.

Ash quickly went to his drawer and began shuffling through it, flinging stuff this way and that. Books, socks and rubber ducks flew out and hit the wall.

Delia perked up again from the thumping noise at Ash's wall.

"Anything wrong, dear?" she asked, getting a little worried about what was going on.

"Uh...yea mom! Everything's _fine_! I'm just...uh...OH! Haha, _there _you are, Bookums! I thought I'd lost you!"

Delia sweatdropped. Bookums was Ash's stuffed bear from when he was really little; she couldn't believe he still slept with it. She tried to forget about it as she chopped some carrots and dropped them into the soup pot.

From upstairs, Ash sighed in relief from another close call. He had found what he wanted and he was ready to resume his mission.

Going up to the computer, he began to laugh (quietly) like a maniac and put the magnifying glass up to the fine print on the screen.

"_Click here!" _said the fine print. That was good enough for Ash. He threw his magnifying glass behind him and pointed the mouse to the small link at the bottom of the screen.

"What is your name?" came the milky voice. This voice actually sounded more like honey than milk. It reminded Ash of waffles.

A line appeared on the screen, demanding his name.

Ash began to type when the wafflish voice spoke again. "Must be 18 or older to qualify."

"Dangit." yelled Ash, banging his fist on his keyboard again.

"Ash?" came Delia's voice. Ash wasn't very good at being quiet.

"Uh...erm...Zzzzzzzzzz..." answered Ash, in attempt to make his mother go away. Wait a second...his mother...

As soon as suspicion left from downstairs, Ash typed his mother's name onto the line below. "Delia Ketchum..." Then he clicked on the "continue" button.

"What is your sex?" came the voice that sounded like maple syrup on Ash's waffles.

"Oh, that's easy..." said Ash. He was about to put down that he was male, but then he remembered that he had put down his mother's name. She was a female.

"Uh..." said Ash, torn between the choices.

"Come on, it isn't a hard question." said a different voice that sounded like burnt pancakes.

Ash didn't ponder it for long, and put down that his mom was female. Then, he clicked the continue button.

"OK," said a fast, hyper voice that sounded like the popping of popcorn when Ash put it in the microwave. "Now give us your mailing address, phone number, zip code---"

The voice trailed on and on. Ash had to fill out a _ton _of information. It was hard, but it would be worth it. Ash was not going to fail this mission! He just couldn't!

After filling in all the essentials, another blinky screen came up.

"GAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Ash, falling out of the chair again, but this time the small wooden chair broke and crumpled into tiny pieces on the ground.

Delia heard this scream and was automatically suspicious. Something was going on. She went upstairs to investigate.

Ash got up and held his heart, panting from the experience.

"And the total cost comes to 1,000,000 dollars! Thanks much for your cooperation!" came all four voices: the milk, the waffles, the burnt pancakes and the popcorn.

"What? I thought it was free..." said Ash.

"_Free_?!" came the burnt pancake voice.

"Yea." said Ash. "You said I had received a free apple iphone..."

"Well, _DUR_!" came the waffle voice. "The iphone was free...but it costs 1,000,000 dollars for shipping and handling! MWAHAHAHA!"

"But...but...I only have...5 bucks..." stammered Ash.

Right at that moment in time, Delia Ketchum entered the room to see the numbers flashing "1,000,000" in bold, red letters on Ash's computer screen.

"Ash...what're you..."

"_YOU WILL NOT PAY_?! FINE THEN!" came the angry voice of the popcorn and milk. They did not make a good mix.

A new voice came onto the screen, sounding like a boring pile of spinach. "This machine will now self-destruct in 5...4...3..."

"ASH!"

"MOM!"

"2...1..." said the spinach.

All of a sudden, the computer exploded. The whole house blew to a sint and piles of wood and brick flew everywhere. In only a matter of 20 seconds, the entire house was gone and destroyed. Ash and Delia's hair were each burnt to a crisp.

Everything. Gone.

The pot of soup Delia was making landed right in front of them.

"Well, at least..."

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM._

The soup pot exploded due to heat radiation.

Mother and son just stood in the middle of the ashes for a little while until Delia spoke up.

"Honey?" she said.

"Uh...yes?"

Delia's eyes flared. "_I'M GONNA GETCHA FOR THIS!_" she yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ash screamed, his voice sounding much like a pot of tea when it's done boiling and he ran away as fast as his stubby legs could take him.

"_COME BACK HERE, YOUNG MAN_!" shouted Delia and she started chasing him around with a stick.

_And that, my friends, is the legend of the boy who cried, "apple iphone". Some say it is only legend, but others find truth in it, a truth so strong that it may overwhelm us, bring our emotions forward and connect us to an unknown force. Legend has it that sometimes, if you listen closely, you can even hear screaming in the wind; the distant screaming of the famous boy...one that will go down in history for years to come._


End file.
